Friday, January 27, 2012

How Do You Blog?

As the daughter of a writer, it's very hard for me to start this blog. The last thing I want is for my father to think I'm trying to be like him. But I'm not doing this for anyone but myself. I really don't care if anyone ever actually reads it. Oooh those last 2 sentences hurt me to write! How many people do you think have written something like that in their first blog post??
Like I said to someone on Twitter earlier tonight, I need a place to say everything from, "you're a dirty slut," to, "that was the greatest crap of my life."
What did I actually mean by that? Something more like, "I'm artistically constipated."
As an art-doer (no, I don't consider myself an artist), you would think I already have my outlet for stress, emotions, physical pain, etc. Nope. I can always create technical art (at least if a class or commission requires it), but it's only when I am numb that the 'good' stuff comes out. When I'm feeling emotional (happy-sad), it almost hurts to break out a sketch pad.
So obviously that is an issue I need to work out. Even the most simple people need an outlet. Yeah I look pretty simple, normal, on the outside. But if I had the money to express how not normal I am, through fashion, well I would probably look like your typical young artist.
(And yes, English Major, I'm aware I have a comma splice problem.)
 More about me? I typically don't post anything on Facebook or Twitter that would let anyone know too much about me. I have this idea that letting people see my thoughts in writing makes me look self-absorbed. But I guess that idea makes me self-absorbed, huh? I even rarely post pictures of me all by myself. There at least has to be a pet in the picture with me. And I sure as HELL won't post a piece of my art. I feel like that would be conceited of me. Which makes no sense, because I don't have a whole lot of faith in my work in the first place.
Just when I start thinking my whole self-absorbed idea is totally ridiculous, and start to post something personal, or intellectual. . . someone else does (with a little too much confidence), and I'm embarrassed for them.
So, I guess this blog will be the place I post those embarrassing things. Maybe if I can get over some of my insecurities I'll get past this whole numb/art issue. Well, we'll find out.


No comments:

Post a Comment